If there was a pill that made you immune to caring what others think of you, would you swallow it? Technically, of course, this should be possible without medication. I don't like admitting this, but I spend too much time in relapse feeling ashamed that I had become a bit smug (albeit inadvertently) while being slightly more active.
Physical improvement feels like the most natural and progressive thing in the world. The body says, 'Ah...here's the key at last; this is the right path, keep on like this and you'll be fine.' It's hugely seductive. There is an instinct to look at others, wishing they could feel it too. Yet this can involve a questioning of their situation, of wondering why they are still stuck and the thought, 'Maybe if you just....XYZ'; where XYZ can mean - get up a bit more, sleep earlier, stress less, leave no stone unturned.
People often ask me, 'Is there nothing they can do for you? (ie doctors)'. The question is well-meant but they are probably thinking what I constantly think myself - 'Have I tried everything I can? Am I doing everything I can?' The answer, I think - as far as we know the answer to anything- is YES, YES, YES. It's only in relapse that I feel this in every cell. I feel awful that I (as a PWME!) wondered if other PWME couldn't try something different or do better. I'm convinced that if PWME's can think this way of each other, then God knows what prescriptive thoughts Joe Public has about us. Even the most well meaning Joe Public...
And, of course, we cannot stress ourselves by worrying about it. Send us off to work in the mines, I say! Give us jobs in holiday camps! Don't let us blog about it for goodness' sake.