Tuesday, April 17, 2007

I am challenged

Ah yes, the blog has gone quiet again. You know what that can mean: I feel challenged. (Not perhaps the same thing as I am challenged, but anyway...). The Mickel Therapy is challenging and I am struggling with aspects of it, especially the part that focuses on processing emotions like fear, with its foot servant, worry.
I wasn't always a worrier. I was one of these children who was confident because I wasn't aware of needing to be confident. I went on school trips and camping trips with zero angst, full of excitement. That changed suddenly when I was a teenager. I got ill at a friend's house once and afterwards developed panic attacks. I felt silly and stupid, so I never told anyone until a few years later. By that time I was a highly-skilled secret worrier.
The irony with worry is that it's designed to protect you. I find it generally has the opposite effect. It's also great for alienating other people and helping the atmosphere at parties too. What a product! Why do I keep falling for it? I must learn how to cast it out, then throw away its oars.
Thank you for listening.
-C

2 comments:

nmj said...

Ah, C, was hoping you'd blog about Amsterdam, how was it?! I guess you snapped a few canals . . .

sofamum said...

Hi Ciara, good to catch up with your news. I've been out of blogland for a long time now but just revisiting. I keep hoping you'll write a full account of Mickel Therapy and how it operates but I guess that would be totally against the whole philosophy of it, which is not to analyse but just to trust and go with it!! I've always found those therapies that make you disregard your intellect a bit sinister. Like if it doesn't work it's your fault cos you questioned it. But I do wish to keep an open mind and an open door to hope of recovery. btw I have a bit of news on my blog now...

take care, glad you had a good time in Amsterdam. xx