Saturday, July 29, 2006

Mind Games

Okay, I don't know where I'm going with this one- so bear with me. I've been thinking (too much) about states of mind. The Dis-united States of Mind. I can't think of a better visual metaphor than the glass that is half full / half empty. I am Half Empty Pessimist who is attempting to drop years of conditioning and somehow (?) morph into a Half Full Optimist.
I've heard some people say, 'I can't help it, I'm an optimist,' and I think, (lucky you) what's to help? Instead, I myself have grown up with ethos of 'better watch out' and 'don't get your hopes up (incase they get dashed)'. I realise now that I'd rather be an optimist who could have high hopes dashed and then dust them off, learn from the experience and have the grace to see the good in most things; than a pessimist who steels myself for every possible 'disaster'.
Don't get me wrong - My pals and I in the ME world used to get annoyed by 'the sunset brigade' - i.e. people who said, 'My ME has made me appreciate a beautiful sunset, so it has some benefits...' No need for a sunset badge here.
I suppose I'm trying to create (or uncover?) an inner stability despite the ups and downs of everyday life. It's a long process. Whoops, another negative qualification. Tricky. It's got to be the right direction though. Hasn't it...???
"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet." Woody Allen


nmj said...

Ah, C, that Woody Allen quote is v. funny, I wish his films were still as funny . . . personally, I think being pessimistic is just being realistic, and nothing wrong with this pessimism unless it is crippling one's enjoyment of the good things in life . . . and I don't want to be to scathing or dismissive of the 'sunset brigade' (what a great term!), but if it took being horribly ill to enjoy a sunset, they probably weren't very sentient in the first place...nmj

CatherineNiven said...

I agree with nmj, I see my pessimistic side as being realistic - and it's very hard to change that. C x

Zona said...

Oh that sounded just tooo familiar!

Sue Jackson said...

I have to admit...I'm one of those natural optimists, though I too hate to hear about the "benefits" of being chronically ill. CFIDS has forced me to slow down, and that's a good thing, but I'd still much rather be healthy! Despite my optimism, I have become a big believer in having low expectations! Then when things go well, you're pleasantly surprised.