Ah well, I didn't get to the country lodge. Can you believe I went to Spain a few weeks back and now I can't get a wee hop in my own fair land? Such is the fluctuation. No point in railing against it. (That doesn't stop me railing against it!). I read some writer describing a childhood illness that left her feeling cut off from the world, watching life from the sidelines. She used the word 'transcendental' which I thought was apt. You have to aim for Buddha-like acceptance of a situation you can't change. You have to try and bring something to it.
I keep forgetting. Even tonight I was flicking through the paper and I see holidays advertised and I think, yes, I could go there! I have to remind myself that it's an effort to make a slice of toast today.
I have spotted the first autumn leaves from my window.