Sunday, March 23, 2008

Red bananas, blog guilt, creme eggs.

There were 'red bananas' for sale in the supermarket. They actually looked more purple than red. At £1.99 they were twice the price of yellow bananas. I wanted to widen my fruit experience, so I bought them. Newsflash: they just taste like yellow bananas. There, I've saved you a pound.

I have blog guilt for not updating the blog.

I had a couple of month's break from Mickel Therapy when I moved in with Nice Man and started my part-time job. All that is still going well, but readers, I can't say I feel fully recovered. Instead I feel like I often have a way to go and don't know how to get there.

My MT therapist is well-meaning to the point of evangelism. She really wants to help. I went back to see her again and she was urging me back to the process. MT is not about bare effort or force. Au contraire. It's about trying to get into some sort of mind/body flow where mysterious forces combine to lessen the 'symptom load.' The hardest part for me, is that it sometimes feels like bare effort and force and I don't get the gains I'd hoped for.

But, I am not dismissing it either. And that is important. I'm just letting you know where I am and hoping aloud that I can get back into the flow.

It's good to have an Easter holiday. Nice Man bought two creme eggs, and I thanked him for the gesture and confessed that I can't really eat creme eggs (wondering whether I should just force one down, so as not to seem ungrateful, my inner Mickel Therapist crying 'your bodymind won't be happy!') And, furthermore, Nice Man is fully aware of my Gillian McKeith gene. As I hesitated, he popped both creme eggs in his mouth before breakfast, just to observe my horrified response. I might find it easier to stir a bag of white sugar into a tin of syrup and drink it from a chocolate cup inside a vat of candyfloss. I wouldn't feel queasy at all. How did I manage to eat them as a kid? Happy Easter-ing.



nmj said...

hey c, afraid i'm with nice man, creme eggs rule!

Rachel Fox said...

Hello again..
My Mum bought me a box of 6 (I was hoping for something a bit more grown-up but I'm a chocoholic and on some days not at all choosey). Oh the horror..I'm eating one a day (not what the health board types when they got Fay Weldon to trot out 'go to work on an egg') and I have no control over it... Could I send them to your nice man to eat them for me?

Jane said...

I am currently having RT I have ME too. I hope I can have a baby too you have inspired me with your story thanks Jnae

Anonymous said...

Here's something I just read, it reminded me of what you said about mickel therapy, it's a woman with Aspergers describing what it is like to have an autistic meltdown.

"And then the moment arrived, the moment at which I always go to war against myself, the moment that begins the meltdown. I’d never seen it so clearly before. The key to the meltdown is the moment that I become aware of the dissonance between what my heart wants me to do and what I am actually able to do."

from here

There do seem to be a lot of similarities between CFS and autism.