It's all in the Scatter Cushions

Hi again, this is my new look blog. I decided that AOL were too cheesy (yes, I can say it now! A bit Walt Disney or George Bush in a cowboy hat). I much prefer the look of www.blogger.com
Choosing a blog site is a bit like choosing a flat or a car. You have to be comfortable where you are. You have to choose the scatter cushions. Anyway, I'm just experimenting with the lay out and trying to upload photos etc - hence one of myself. So that's today's footerings.

Ciara

Hares and Tortoises

‘I feel the need – the need for speed,’ said that great philosopher Tom Cruise. I can’t get any speed – physical or chemical (as if !) so I’ll replace it with the need to blog. So, as I'll explain, my life often proceeds at a vastly slower pace than I would ever have chosen.

I naively started this blog thinking I could avoid talking about my health condition. Ha! No dwelling – dwelling isn’t recommended! But blogging lends itself to the compromised. It’s an even playing field. And if I want to describe my days then, in the interest of accuracy and common-or-garden truth, there’s no escaping the fact that my days are affected by ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis). ME is an unfortunate acronym. People think you’re writing about yourself and using capitals for emphasis. Hey, it’s all about ME! Help ma boab. (Wonder what google translate would do with that one).

Anyway, I was perfectly healthy until aged 18 and overnight a virus changed my life. That’s all I’ll write for now. I’d rather look out to the autumn chestnut trees outside my window. My inner policeman is telling me not to dwell. To read some fiction or poetry instead. To re-pot a plant or make a sandwich. There are thousands of others too ill to do these things. I used to be one of them.

I remember as a teenager (pre illness) getting grumpy about something trivial and saying (nay, whining probably) ‘But it’s not fair.’ My mum came back with her ace card: ‘Life’s not fair.’ Instant deflation as the wind dropped from my sails. I knew she was right and I had stumbled over a fundamental truth - one I had previously avoided or been privileged enough to ignore.

But it’s good to have your eyes opened. Of course there’s an ‘ouch’- often a huge one. Instead of being shackled to the thought that life actually should be fair, is it not easier to be galvanised to start working with what you have? I’m not trying to do this evangelical, more-positive-than-thou stuff. No ‘light the joss sticks and assume the Lotus position’. For myself anyway, I’m just trying to work out where I go from here…..and then I’ll get a sandwich too.

-C

Tone Deaf Clap Trap

And another thing...okay so this is my second entry today. After my philosophical morning trapped in bed, I finally got out for a 'coffee' with Stuart (everyone says 'out for coffee' even if they mean tea.) We sat in the window of a coffee shop and - as often - I felt a wave of physical relief just to be out of my flat and part of the 'real' world. It's good to people watch.

Afterwards we went down to the studio. The band were remixing some tracks and they needed background hand claps. So Stuart asked me to clap around a microphone with the others. There was a guitar bit (a middle 8 or whatever it's called) where they all knew to stop - and I did an accidental extra clap. I thought I'd blown it but I think they can edit it out (?)

Just as well I'm tone deaf or I would have wanted to play in a band or be a singer. It's a relief when it's an absolute - i.e. I cannot sing in tune. No dispute. Easy decision.

I was singing to my 2 year old niece the other day and when I finished she said 'again!' You've got to find your audience, I feel.

I'll try and upload my first blog photo. It's a poster from the new B&S merchandise at www.belleandsebastian.com It's also me lying in my bed, not singing. So it kind of ties in....

-C

How Big is the Blogosphere?

Are blogs the new passive telephone calls that you just listen in on? Stuart phoned me to see if I'd come out for a coffee and I couldn't and I found myself saying 'you can read my blog.' Like instead (?!) When he's away on tour or recording, I wait for new blog entries to hear his news. In a weird way it's almost more intimate than a phone call. You feel as if hundreds of others are reading a blog, but if the blogger is your pal you feel like you have a front row seat. Maybe everyone feels like that?


I can't get my head round the magnitude of the internet. And there are still vast swathes of the world without it. What happens when everyone climbs on? Is there room for billions more pages and blogs and vlogs?! (video logs - as I just learned the other day). Is it infinite? To infinity and
beyond?

-C

To Blog or Not to Blog?

The whole blog thing has made me think. There's such a culture of 'not getting above yourself' here in Scotland. It's like holding your hand up to answer questions at school. You always feel that some of the class are staring disapprovingly at the more vocal. But then the great thing about blogs is that nobody has to read them. You're only here if you want to be.

I had started reading a few random blogs and it's the everyday trivia that I like to relate to. One blogger was excited to have £14 of advantage card points at Boots. I find myself nodding at the screen.

So for today's trivia - I had tea on Byres Road. It rained till huge puddles formed by the roadside (making me think of the easy joy of being a kid in welly boots). I watched the Bob Dylan documentary with people who love and appreciate Bob much more than I know how to.

-Ciara. (I no like when people pronounce it Key-ara. There's always a few...).