When we told the kids we were getting a civil partnership, they didn't really understand the concept. Who can blame them? We've only been together 25 years and the kids are now 14 and 12.
'It's like a wedding really, but it suits non-religious people, and it's easier, and it has all the same legal stuff as marriage does.'
We thought the easiest way would be small scale. Just us, two witnesses and the weans.
The weans were unsure about it.
'It might be cringe-y. We're not sure if we want to come to your 'legal partner' thing.'
Slowly, they came round. They'd get a day off school and French toast and maple syrup at Cafe Gandolfi.
On the day itself, Tess commented, 'Mum, we should have had a HEN NIGHT with the dog! We could have worn rose-gold sashes and yours could have said, 'Civil Partner To Be'.
Hugh chimed in - 'Yeah, we should tie cans to the car that say, 'JUST civil-partnered!''
When the marriage celebrant accidently called me 'Cara', I had to jump in and correct her politely. She was lovely, really.
'Whoops, I nearly married the wrong woman,' commented Francis.
(Hey, it doesn't feel natural unless someone mispronounces my name at least once a week).
I read out a beautiful poem by Wendy Cope -
The Vow, by Wendy Cope
I cannot promise never to be angry;
I cannot promise always to be kind.
You know what you are taking on, my darling –
It’s only at the start that love is blind.
And yet I’m still the one you want to be with
And you’re the one for me – of that I’m sure.
You are my closest friend, my favourite person,
The lover and the home I’ve waited for.
I cannot promise that I will deserve you
From this day on. I hope to pass that test.
I love you and I want to make you happy.
I promise I will do my very best.
My Mum and Dad, now in their eighties, were witnesses to the signing of the papers.
Francis played a recording of his late Mum singing a beautiful gaelic song.
My Dad read my favourite Raymond Carver Poem -
Late Fragment
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.
Then we went to Cafe Gandolfi and tore into the French Toast.
Afterwards, we headed home to walk the dog. I told some other dog-walking strangers that we just got married this morning. It's not something you can say every day. It felt strangely satisfying to utter the words.
Thanks to Bernard and Madeline (nee McGuckin!) for the meal.
Here's to Newly-Weds, Cara..., I mean Ciara and Frankie Boy.
And to Hugh and Tess, who are, of course, the finest consequence of our chance meeting at a Belle and Sebastian gig, many moons ago.
