Lost for words

The apocalypse starts gently, with the pinging of multiple WhatsApp messages. My phone persists, like a baby bird in a nest. 

I can't keep up. I scroll through batches of messages in between doing the dishes and the regular chat/interruptions from the kids

'Mum, can I chose what you wear on my birthday? You need a fashion advisor. Will shops be open on my birthday?'

Other mums are messaging about the crisis. Is it actually a lockdown? How will it work? Can the boys still play football at the pitch? 

Our 11 year old son, Hugh, is just back from a residential school trip to the Highlands. Canoeing, abseiling, zip wires. I was amazed the trip was allowed to go ahead. I was delighted he had such a good time, and grateful to the teachers. They all got there and back before the Covid-19 door closed today. 

What a world to come back to. I know the kids have no idea of the scale of this crisis. Perhaps a lot of adults don't either.

But horribly, it will become clear in the weeks ahead. I can stop reeling from what is happening, day by day, hour by hour. For weeks, I would tell friends I was worried about the Corona Virus. Some said things like -It will blow over. Don't be daft. It's over hyped, isn't it?

I am raging at Boris Johnson's mishandling of the situation. The government lost critical days, rampaging down the wrong track, putting business before public health with the infamous 'herd immunity' experiment.., until scientists pointed out that this would mean a quarter of a million deaths. Chief medical officer, Chris Whitty is now aiming for fewer than twenty thousand. Deaths! I can't even believe I am typing this. It's horrifying. 

Since January, daughter Tess, 9, has been off school for weeks, due to asthma issues and a persistent, debilitating cough. There was no way I was going to send her in to school this week. 

Together we took a social-distancing walk to the pond to feed a few darting ducks. I envied them their floating oblivion under the much-needed March sun. 

I must get to bed. I love going to bed. My brain needs a rest.